slowly she turned

Living the Slow life in North Carolina

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  • Education

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    Yesterday I applied for the Visions program, which is UNCG’s program to allow people with BA degrees to take college classes without being admitted into a graduate program. I’m planning to take a MLIS course (Masters of Library and Information Studies) to see if it is something I would like to pursue. The program has classes online and in the evenings. It would keep my brain occupied on things other than politics.

    Maybe if I had more IT skills and a MLIS degree I can get a job in instructional technology at a college or university if we decide to leave the state. Or hell, even if we don’t. Maybe we’ll head up into the hollers of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and I’ll work from home through a satellite dish.

    Library studies is all about technology and online media these days, but I’ve always considered going in that direction because of my love of books. Maybe I could take some of my electives at the Rare Book School in Charlottesville, Virginia, and try to get into archives and conservation.

    Anyway, just another idea percolating in my head. I don’t seem to be able to stay out of school for long.

  • Today

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    Today, I got through the day after a serious prolonged anxiety episode during errand running after the guild party yesterday. The party was fun, the food at Printworks was delicious, and some of us exchanged handmade “mug rugs,” so I was surprised by the panic attack. It’s been so long since I’ve had a major one that I forgot that they usually do come on at the most puzzling times. So, YAY, I got through Monday! One day at a time, ya know.

    I did manage to go to a Hanukkah party last night, and I’m glad that I pushed through it, but I pretty much collapsed before I even got to the car. One thing I did learn over the years was that panic disorder developed into agoraphobia when I did not push through it, and I certainly don’t want to retreat to that.

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    The menorah was beautiful. I love what Susanne has done with her studio, spreading it over two rooms on the first floor of her house. I hope to do some papermaking again soon over there.

    Today we resolved one of the work issues, but I think that we’ve done all we can and won’t be able to resolve the others. Too bad. God knows we tried. Now I’m letting it go, evicting the cats from the bedroom, and heading to dreamland. Hopefully I will be blogging about art instead of mental health issues very soon.

  • Sunday morning coffee pot post

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    I’m getting started a little later than usual because the evil kittehs woke me up by scampering across my face late last night, and even though that got them evicted from the bedroom, it was a long time before I could go back to sleep. Lately I’ve been going to the Church of the Covenant when in town, and I especially wanted to go today because it is Mark Sandlin’s first official day as interim minister and I want them to make it permanent very badly.

    But instead I needed to stitch up two of my little cloth weavings into a “mug rug” (coaster) because I left my holiday themed one in the office with the very mistaken idea that it would be slow and I’d get a chance to finish stitching it up between emails and waiting for the phone to ring. I did a lot of waiting for the phone to ring, because people I needed to talk to wouldn’t return my calls, but the amount of email was staggering.

    Three years ago I don’t remember exactly what was happening at my job, but I said this on Facebook and it applies this year more than ever: “My job is setting up lines of dominoes, pretty much.” I suppose it was scheduling issues then, too, although I don’t remember being undermined and sabotaged from within.

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    Yesterday I felt great, though! I spend most of the day cleaning up my back yard and my UNCG community garden plot, although the back forty will take a lot more time to clean up after a couple of years of grief and depression and health problems. The high is in the mid-70s this weekend and the soil smelled rich and it was full of fat earthworms and pillbugs. In other words, very healthy! The compost at the bottom of the barrel was just right and I started shoveling it into the beds. I'm moving my ongoing pile to a sunnier spot because it has gotten so shady in the back that it is no longer decomposing properly.

    When I went to my community plot my plan was to clean it all out and email the leaders that I was giving it up. However, when I got there I had a nice patch of rouge d'hiver lettuce. I didn't expect that because two months ago I gave up on the lettuce and peas when some critter was obviously chowing down on them, but I did get a lot of butterbeans from a very few bush plants (Henderson bush was the variety). That cheered me up and I picked what green cotton was there, transplanted some of the lettuce plants to a barrel at home, and picked some nice clean chickweed to go with the lettuce for a tender fresh salad.

    So I think that I'm going to continue with this plot next year, but I'm going to try to be smart about it and keep it simple and mulched heavily. Maybe do the entire thing in Roma tomatoes so I can make tomato sauce and can plenty of it in my new-to-me big pressure canner that I inherited from Mama.

    Now I'm heading to the guild Christmas party at Printworks where the mug rug goes into a guild exchange. I made mine Jude Hill style.

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  • Little gopher of mine

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    What is it about cats and changing the sheets on the bed? Diego has been a little burrower since he was a kitten. He still tries to burrow under my body sometimes. But when the sheets are freshly changed, it’s a spelunking party.

  • Friday at last!

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    This iris is confused. The highs this weekend are in the 70s. Lovely. I’m so glad this work week is over. Not much got resolved, but it’s good to be home. We went to Sandy’s work party tonight which always has a good spread.

    Looking forward to getting outside this weekend as well as spending some time in the studio. I’m so glad that our family doesn’t do much Christmas shopping. Maybe I’ll put up a few lights.

  • Adult spelling bee

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    Susanne and I participated in an adult spelling bee tonight at a local brewpub. I have middle school PTSD resulting from my spelling bee experiences in 5th-8th grades. I won’t go into it, but I went to the state bee three of those years, pretty much because it pleased my mother. My anxiety was through the roof. It brought me distress and bullying at school, and I despised it. Mom said that she never knew that I hated it, but I am a spelling wiz because of it.

    So is Susanne, and she made it to the fourth round when she messed up on a word that she knew. (It happens!) The only reason I made it past the second round was because the other participants rallied when I spelled “synagogue” correctly and he said it was wrong. Then in the third round, I spelled “patchouli” correctly and he said it was wrong. I challenged him on that one, and quickly figured out what the problem was. His sources were a small pocket dictionary (which did not list “patchouli”) and a Scrabble dictionary, which doesn’t list words over eight letters long. He got both alternate spellings out of the Scrabble dictionary, and wasn’t aware that they were not the primary spellings. The other spellers rallied again and showed him the Merriam Webster spellings on their smart phones. By this time, you could tell that he was pissed. He mispronounced at least a couple of words too.

    Well, by this time it wasn’t worth it to me to be confrontational about it, but when I got the next word, “dialogue”, I was wary. So I told him that there were two accepted spellings, I wrote them both down, and counted the letters. He told me to pick one and I figured I was okay with “dialogue.” I was.

    On the fifth round, I blew it on “cappuccino.” Totally. He seemed pleased.

    The winner won on the word, “aioli.” There were a lot of foodie words.

    Afterwards I suggested to the host that he should not pick his words from the Scrabble dictionary for the next bee and why, but he was so annoyed with me he wouldn’t even look at me. Just kept putting his stuff away.

    So, even though it was great fun, I don’t think that I’ll do it again. I just can’t let spelling and pronunciation errors go in a SPELLING bee. But it was much easier to do a bee when buzzed.

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    Won’t go into details. Tomorrow will surely be better.

  • I was in another bad mood today, but more angry and frustrated. Complicated last minute schedule changes at work. Bigotry on Facebook. After much thought about whether to go on with my personal page on Facebook or to switch over entirely to my artist page or make more feed filters that I don’t use, I went through my friends list and unfriended those who made overt bigoted statements in the past couple of weeks. I unfollowed a few of the more precious and less mean friends, with the hope that their hearts and minds are opened one day.

    Now when I see a bigoted post in my feed, I am updating my friends list accordingly, so maybe I can continue to enjoy it.

    Here’s what I posted:

    “Done with bigots. If you have something hateful to say about an entire group of people, I won’t see it in my news feed but once, and I won’t see anything from you again.. That’s the only way I’m gonna roll on Facebook from here on out. Not interested in dialogue with stubborn people who don’t get it and don’t bother to learn. Not interested in ‘just your opinion.’ Yes, you do have a right to have a prejudiced opinion not based on facts or on some sad twisted version of a religion. That includes atheists talking about all Christians too. I have a right not to see it on my FB feed. Any argumentative bigoted comments will be deleted as well. I’m not interested.”

    On one hand, I’d like to influence people to be kinder, but on the other hand, I realize that it ain’t happening on Facebook no matter what, so I’m going to shape my experience to get what I need from it.

  • Sad

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    I’m a little bit sad.

    My cholesterol is high. My vitamin D is low. I don’t know what to do about my cholesterol because I don’t want to go on statins and I don’t want heart disease. I read so many conflicting things. I don’t think that I can do better about my diet. Exercise sucks, but I guess I’ll have to get on that.

    Facebook is a blessing and a curse. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I want to reach through the screen and slap sense into people. But there are so many good things about it, and lately it has been my news source, although I have been adjusting that.

    Also, I’m upset with a friend’s assholeish behavior. Not any of you.

    I’m lucky that I have a lot of friends these days. That has been a recent development. But now I’m just going to let myself be a little bit sad and hope that things change.

    Tomorrow will be better. And I’ll have a week and a half off for the holidays soon.

  • Not Campbell Soup

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    We Southern cooks love our casseroles with cream of this-or-that soup, but since I moved to eating organically and locally as much as possible several years ago, I’ve adapted some of my favorite casseroles to using a cream sauce with whatever. I make faux condensed cream of mushroom soup by making a thick white sauce with fresh mushrooms cooked in the butter. That is what went into the broccoli casserole this afternoon instead of canned soup. Yes, it looks gross but it is SO much better.

    It only took a few minutes to do it, although I’m not perfect and sometimes I keep a can or two of the processed stuff in the cabinet for when I feel super lazy. This one isn’t completely local or completely organic, but it is a combination of the two.

    I can’t give you a recipe because I stopped measuring on this casserole years ago. It’s like a crustless quiche, with more cheese and less eggs.

    I went to church this morning, the very liberal Presby USA one around the corner that I attended around the same time I began this blog in 2005. They are between ministers and Mark Sandlin, whose writing I adore, is filling in for several Sundays. I’m basically an atheist, but I respect a lot of different spiritual traditions, since I believe that any faith that helps you be a better person and encourages you to be compassionate and kind to others is a good thing. I don’t often admit to being an atheist…maybe a searcher would be a better label, but there isn’t really any label that describes my beliefs. I’ve explored a lot. So be it.

    Tonight this broccoli casserole goes to my friend’s Hanukkah dinner where I get to be an honorary Jew again.

    Blessings to you all.