slowly she turned

Riveted by Nature on Topsail Island

October 26, 2022

Friday morning I set off on my own to drive to south Topsail Island, near Wilmington, North Carolina. I’ve been there a few times before, and the last few times I’ve been there to take a class from Leslie Marsh. This class was similar to one I’ve taken from her before, but this time we riveted a leather spine onto the soldered, stamped metal covers. We leaf printed the inside pages in a nature dye vat for the inside signatures, and bound them with a variation of longstitch.

Molten metal scares the crap out of me, otherwise I would fully embrace this technique! I enrolled in Leslie’s wearable metal book class during the pandemic, and I have all the supplies, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it without someone knowledgeable standing by. My first go on these covers were kind of pitiful, and I almost settled for them, but after I saw the other covers in the class, I went back to the soldering station and I resoldered and stamped the covers on my own, so, yay me!. I plan to find a cool bead or shell or other natural object to attach to the top of the spine. I liked this cabochon that Leslie provided because it reminded me of the little turtle I rescued earlier this month.

If I ever do this again with the rivets, I will not solder or stamp with a lot of texture on the sides next to the spine or anywhere else that the rivets go. That presented a problem for me in drilling and inserting the rivets. My drill kept slipping and my holes got wonky and I messed up the leather in places. I also dyed all my pages instead of inserting white pages in the signatures, which I think made the other text blocks pop after I saw them. Still, I’m quite happy with the result.

I didn’t follow directions very well this time either. I placed the cabochon at the top, so my leather binding had to be shaped differently. Plus I was ready to bind before everyone else so I did my binding a different way. HA. If you’d like to see the other books from the class, you can see them on Leslie Marsh’s Instagram page.

The pages and the felt bag were dyed in Leslie’s dyepots by rolling them onto copper pipes with leaves and tightly binding the bundles to the pipes. One of my discoveries in this round was redbud leaves. Also, the leaves from my eucalyptus tree didn’t give the reddish oranges that the silver dollar eucalyptus leaves do. I wish I had used more of them. I didn’t get good definition on my wool felt so I’m going to embellish it with embroidery, and next time I am not going to bundle paper with it on the same pipe.

If you are interested in taking any of Leslie Marsh’s classes or buying her fabulous work (she is a multi-talented artist!), her website is www.leslie-marsh.com/. I must warn you that her classes sell out very quickly!

I’ll make another post for my other photos from Topsail Beach.
Sunday morning coffee pot post

October 9, 2022

Turn on the volume for a one-section purr concert from Diego.

It’s a two-fer day, although I’m not sure how long I can sit here blogging. It’s been a hell of a mixed week. As I said in the previous post, I strained my back picking up branches at Lake Waccamaw after Ian sailed through. I wasn’t sure that I could sit on the ride home on Sunday even, but that old Volvo has amazing seat adjustments. We love that car.

I tried walking to work on Monday morning, but by 10 a.m. I was phoning Sandy to come get me. I was hurting bad. He doesn’t answer his phone, doesn’t text, doesn’t check his voice mail. This time he actually had his phone turned off. GRRRRR. Anyway, I slept and dozed most of the day and night on Monday, which proved to me that my body was saying, “let me heal,” because I usually cannot sleep that much. Then on Tuesday, I had a lot of work to do, but I found a position on our big arm chair in the front room where I could be comfortable, so I was able to work on my laptop.

On Wednesday, I had a consult appointment with the gastrointestinal practice to schedule my colonoscopy. Because of my family history, I am supposed to get one every five years, so I started when I was 40. Well, it got coded as diagnostic, and my insurance was treating it as elective, and even after the insurance staff member changed the code they STILL wouldn’t pay because they said that I should get one every ten years. Ah, the U.S. health system, where the insurance companies decide what care is best for you. So I canceled it. All four of my colonoscopies have been completely healthy, and I was a bit late on this one anyway, so I decided to wait 3.5 years until I am on Medicare. If I have symptoms, I’ll schedule it, but I’m not paying thousands of dollars for a procedure that was free last time.

Thursday I went to my chiropractor, who I adore and I don’t know why I have put off going to him, other than mental illness, I guess. He did the electric stimulation thang, massaged me from head to foot manually and with a machine, then adjusted my back, hips, and neck. I knew that he couldn’t do much for an acute strained muscle, but he really cracked my neck, which is a chronic issue for me and was much in need of care. I hope that this will reduce my headaches. This guy is so different from other practices. He doesn’t process insurance claims, he handles all the appointments and admin himself, and he spends an hour concentrating on you, for $85. He doesn’t try to sell you packages or tell you to come back for multiple visits if he thinks he can fix you on one visit. He is not an anti-vaxxer. His office is within a massage therapy business, so while I was there I bought a monthly program for a hour massage.

The big news is that I have made a decision to put off retirement until May-Julyish 2024. I was very serious about retiring on June 1, 2023, and had started looking at my options for temp and part-time jobs and remote jobs. But I was given some options from my department that I had asked for months ago and had accepted that I would never get. I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say that I’m quite happy about it. I realize that for the first time in my life, I am getting what I asked for in my job. I’ve always taken what I was offered – never negotiated for a salary – never asked for promotion although I have been offered them – and in most cases, before I landed here, I was seen as expendable. Now I truly feel valued and I think that I can definitely stick it out for almost two years. There is no downside to this. If my position gets cut in budget cuts, and that is a real possibility, I was planning to leave anyway and I’d probably get some kind of severance or service time deal.

Yesterday we both got the newest Covid variant booster and we went to a friend’s 80th birthday party. We met some very interesting people and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Today, I don’t know how much sitting I can do, but I’m going to try to weave this postcard tapestry and finish reading Telegraph Avenue. I’m baffled at its relatively low score on GoodReads. I think that it is a solid 4. I guess some people can’t deal with unsympathetic characters, but life is full of them.

I anticipate hearing some bad news today, but I am in a good place mentally and emotionally.
Lake Waccamaw, Ian Edition II

October 9, 2022

Riding out the storm was scarier than I thought it would be. I can’t imagine riding out a hurricane, although Ian was on the fence between Tropical Storm and Category 1. It was the sustained winds that were freaky. Once they started, they didn’t end for hours. It felt like a switch had been flipped around 2 p.m., and they were strong enough that we didn’t venture over to Lisa’s until 7 p.m. The winds were still going then, but by that time it seemed that all the big stuff that was going to fall down had already done it.

At first it was exciting, because I love storms. Sandy is so indifferent to it. My sister and I, as farmer’s daughters, were raised to pay attention to the weather. In those pre-Internet, pre-cable times, one of us in the family was expected to watch the weather forecast at 6 p.m. on one of the two television stations we received and tell him about it when he came in from working at the farm. My sister is fairly traumatized from the destruction of Hurricane Florence a few years ago when we thought that we would lose both family homes from the flooding damage, but she was not too worried about this one. It still surprised her. It ended up coming onshore right at the South Carolina coastal area that she and Tim had just left the day before.

There was a big tree down on a house between the lake house and her house, and the old catalpa tree that my father planted in the 1950s snapped in our yard, but thankfully it fell over into an empty area into the lot next door. Mainly there was a covering of small and medium sized branches and Spanish moss and bald cypress needles all over the yard afterwards. We didn’t have any flooding. Our power went out for only a couple of hours. I was shocked (not literally) when it came back on in the middle of the storm.

This photo shows the layer of debris blown up to the back porch, and the variety of flora in the washtub is a nice collection of what is around in late September here.

Meanwhile, in central North Carolina, the power was out for over a day in many places, including Greensboro. Our house in Greensboro never lost power and there were no big limbs down.

I pushed it too far with picking up the debris at the lake house and strained a muscle in my back, which ended up putting me to bed on Monday afternoon and part of Tuesday. Sitting has been painful. Even though I left the yard needing a good raking, I still mounded up an impressive pile of branches. I wish I had photographed it, but by that time I was only thinking about the pain. It would have been a good opportunity to bring home a couple of garbage bags full of Spanish moss for mulch.

I also got bitten on the hand a couple of times by a fire ant – but Lisa had some medicine that helped a lot. It still itches from time to time, but I’m thankful that I didn’t get swarmed.

Anyway, I sat on Lisa’s pier and watched the big turtles Saturday afternoon and later we enjoyed a beach fire and drinks and dinner with Lisa and Tim.

On Sunday morning I was hurting bad, but as I came out of the bathroom I kicked a small round object on the floor. It turned out to be this little guy. At first I thought it was dead because its face and legs were covered in cobwebs. Then it moved its foot a bit and so I took it out to the lake, washed it off, and picked out the cobwebs with my long fingernails. (This was fortunate because I usually keep them short.) It had cobwebs all up into its shell. Once that was done, I waited to see if it would activate, and once it did, I took it out and put it on the edge of the water near some lake debris – some kind of plant that grows on the bottom out past the piers that washed up in big clumps. It chose to crawl into there and the next time I checked it was gone.

S/he was a yellow bellied slider, the prettiest turtle I have ever seen. It was very tempting to keep it as a pet, since I had pet turtles as a kid. I also killed those turtles from lack of care and the wrong care as a kid, so I hope I changed my karma by letting it go. I would not want to come back as some kid’s pet turtle, left to dehydrate forgotten in a terrarium in a utility room.

I cannot imagine the pain of the people whose homes are in ruins in Florida.
Lake Waccamaw, Ian Edition

September 29, 2022

Sandy and I drove down on Tuesday morning, and I have kept a close eye on Hurricane Ian. Eastern North Carolina has had its share of flood events from hurricanes this time of year. We are not terribly concerned about it right now, but we have learned the hard way that hurricanes can trick you and punch your lights out just as you relax.

We’ve had very little breeze until this morning. On Tuesday it was warm enough to sit in the lake for a while, and we spent some time outside yesterday, but it was so still that the bugs were beginning to find me. Once a blackfly bit me, I hauled my butt inside. I’ve seen only one alligator in the canal, but a few turtles and two beautiful large herons. This is the time of year for large spiders to weave their webs. As I’ve taken my walks along the canal I’ve stopped to say hello to a couple of them. The abundance of spiders at the lake is the reason I don’t invite friends who I know are arachnophobes. Sandy and I have no issues with spiders as long as they are not bothering us.

Today the wind is gusting, and the rain is expected to move in tonight. Several inches are expected. Fortunately the lake is extremely low and it should be able to contain plenty of storm water, but the issue will probably be water standing on the ground.

I’ve been cat-sitting my feline niece and nephew while my sister and brother-in-law took a short trip to Murrell’s Inlet. My sister’s screened porch is filled and surrounded with flowers and birds. Rascal is rascally, Sissy is tiny. I adore both of them.

(I really hope I don’t have to rewrite this post again. Here goes the second version:)

Tuesday night we ate seafood at Dale’s in the screened porch with a view of the lake and the sunset. At first I said out loud that it looked like we wouldn’t get much color that evening, but the reds were some of the reddest reds I’ve ever seen. It was spectacular but I didn’t get a good photo. I made sure that I was on my sister’s pier the next night and the sunset was amazing; more pinks and purples this time.

I brought my postcard sized collaborative tapestry to weave for the Tapestry Weavers South show in January. Each of us was assigned (or chose) a letter and the only requirements are the overall size and the size and color of the letter. Well, I forgot to pack my black yarn, but I’ll weave up as far as I can without it. I’m enjoying the cheery primary colors.

Looks like we are going to stick it out here through the weekend. The worst should come tomorrow, with several inches of rain forecast. The lake is very low and should contain it, but I still expect that some water will come into the house. Hopefully the wind will stay at tropical storm level or less.
Saturday morning coffee pot post

September 24, 2022

I haven’t written since I cut Cathedral off the loom. I haven’t done anything to it yet either – just put it in my backpack where the cats can’t get to it. It’s quite amazing how many likes and follows I got from the video (“reel”) I posted on Instagram. They are still coming in and I wonder how this happens. I started weaving the O tapestry, although I’ve been pretty worthless art-wise the past couple of weeks.

Last weekend I had headaches all weekend, then on Sunday, I went to the flea market at the farmers’ market, went to a street festival that I didn’t want to go to, had a panic attack in the middle of a book reading (my guess is that previously being in the crowd outside triggered it), and ended up not going to my studio at the arts center for the second week in a row.

I picked up a few cool things at the flea market – another wooden box, a small vase that matched an heirloom tea set that I gave to my niece, and an old Nancy Drew book for a dollar that I plan to deconstruct and reuse in collage. I was looking for a cheap old electric frying pan or griddle that I could use for encaustic, but had no luck with that.

Occasionally I look at a video for one of the many online classes that I paid for and never finished. Turns out that getting the supplies for encaustic, even though I have a few of them, is quite expensive. So I may let that go until later and shop at secondhand stores for a while to gather them.

I’ve been able to watch more TV. I know that sounds like NOT a big deal at all, but it has been a big part of my problem that I have not been able to focus on videos or TV shows or movies. I still don’t sit in front of the TV and the most I’ve been able to do was two hours one night, but it’s nice to have shows to watch with Sandy. He can binge and I cannot. I still can’t get through an entire movie.

I bought some new clothes and new glasses – a very bright blue pair that I’m quite pleased with.

Work has been quiet other than entering the class schedule and the occasional question in hiring or student process. This is the season when I am usually waiting for others to send me stuff so that I can move on with what I need to do. I usually take off on vacation in mid-September as these items are trickling in, but this September I am not taking off until this coming week, when I’m going to the lake and cat-sitting my feline niece and nephew and possibly getting the house ready for a hurricane hit. I plan to take the two weavings and the book that I’ve been working on.

For the most part I have been bored. I’m trying to be okay with being bored sometimes – flipping the switch to being alone with my thoughts instead of feeling that I have to fill my brain with something. Turns out that this is very, very, very difficult for me, and it is one reason I have a hard time falling asleep. I am absolutely bored at work. So, so bored. I don’t think I could be returned to being a worker willing to go the extra mile the way that I was for a very long time.

Listening to Radio Paradise on the Internet has helped me get through it. I have been surprised at what I’ve learned of famous musicians that I like that I’ve never connected the names with the music. Lots of Americana. Suzanne Vega. Beck. Coldplay. Even Led Zeppelin. Turns out I love Led Zeppelin now but in the 70s I couldn’t care less about them. So many artists who are new to me, often because I heard their music but didn’t know their names. I spent the 90s and 00s listening to public radio and lots of new age and classic rock and certain singers like Lyle Lovett and kd lang. In a way this makes me feel old, but then again, I’ve not able to keep up with popular music since the 70s when I was growing up.

I think a lot about retirement, and what I might do to make some money for fun stuff, and what part time or temp jobs I might apply for. I don’t think that I will stop working. This has calmed me down, which surprises me, but we’ll see if that lasts once I grind into the last few months of my job.

My neighbors have supplied me with five gallons of black walnuts in the hulls, which I’ve stashed in the freezer. There will be more. I’m considering making ink for sale, as well as using them for natural dye pots, of course. I bought a course on making organic inks over two years ago at the beginning of the pandemic, when it seemed that I’d have all the mental energy in the world to LEARN ALL THE THINGS. I don’t think I looked at one lesson and don’t know if I can even find it again.

Now I am stopping for brunch, and I think I will head over to the arts center. The weather is breezy and beautiful. I discovered a great combination for a sandwich – almond butter and spicy red pepper jelly. I’m reading “Telegraph Avenue” and the “Oxford History of Britain.” I want to understand the history of my ancestry, and unlike some people, I’m not afraid of looking at the ugly parts that make me uncomfortable. And boy, do I come from oppressors – I often look in the mirror and notice the genetics of a predator race reflected back at me. There’s no guilt here. Just awareness and a desire to make the world a better place.
“Cathedral” is off the loom!

September 12, 2022

Should be about 20″L by 22″W once it is blocked, hemmed, and mounted.
Saturday morning coffee pot post

September 10, 2022

Here’s Diego looking all sexy for you.

I missed writing my weekly blog post last weekend, but we did get a lot of things done. Our focus was on cleaning the front porch and everything on it. I never knew that window screens could get so dirty. It is mostly done, and the cobwebs are already back. Pablocito likes to eat the cobwebs for some reason. This weekend began with a heavy rain and the forecast shows rain for the next three days. It’s unfortunate because our city’s big outdoor event, the North Carolina Folk Festival, is happening. George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic is supposed to play tonight. Sandy still wants to go downtown to see the arts and crafts, but I don’t feel enthusiastic about wandering around in the rain. Sandy and I have to sit down a lot and I don’t think he minds having a wet butt, but I do. So he has asked me to drop him off downtown.

This means that I have to decide if it is worth it to go to the studio at the Cultural Arts Center. I could take an Uber and not have to deal with the parking, although I wonder how many people will still come now that it is raining so hard. Last Sunday I continued with my idea for redoing the cover on the book I made in Dan Essig’s class in June. This is a bit tricky, because these tiny washers are made from mica, and mica and glue don’t usually work together well. Mica is made from hundreds of tiny layers and glue will pull off the layer next to it. So what I tried to do is encase them in acrylic gel medium. I’ll see how well they will stick when I get back to the studio. I also prepared several more illustrations to go into the pages.

I guess I’m back into dots and circles these days.

The event that disrupted most of my plans for Labor Day was this little fellow. As I sat down to eat dinner on Sunday night I heard a loud cry and fluttering from behind our fireplace insert, which I thought was a bird. When Sandy detached the woodstove pipe and cover to the fireplace, he found two dead squirrels, a nest, and this guy, apparently unhurt.

We ran around all panicky trying to figure out what to do, and of course ended up doing some things that we shouldn’t have done, but I posted on Facebook and tagged a couple of people who have done wildlife rehab or knew people who did, and was reminded that my friend Leslie who owns the Yadkin Valley Fiber Arts Center in Elkin, a little over an hour away, had successfully rehabbed a baby squirrel and released it to the wild this spring. She still had supplies such as two cages and the formula needed and volunteered to take him. Susan rode with me to Elkin in the pouring rain and we made the transfer. He was a little dehydrated but a day later he was drinking formula and seemed to be doing fine. She named him Archie after Archie Brennan!

I may be seeing him again about a month from now when Tapestry Weavers South has its retreat in Elkin.

Fortunately, the guy we use for chimney cleaning had a cancellation on Tuesday, and he cleaned out the dead squirrels and the nest material and inspected the chimney with a camera. Unfortunately, he says that the old terra cotta flue lining is cracked where there has been a past chimney fire and says that it is unsafe to use. He recommends a stainless steel lining which would cost $4000. I don’t think that we need the wood stove for that much money so I might get a kerosene heater for emergencies. For that kind of money I’d rather get a few more solar panels and one of those electric heaters that looks like a fireplace. He will come back in October to critter proof our chimney caps.

Speaking of that – why the hell does anybody manufacture a chimney cap that critters can get into? I spent a lot of money repairing and rechinking the mortar on these three chimneys and putting metal caps on them in 2011. Grrr.

Earlier on Labor Day, Susan and Jerry and Sandy and I went to Oscar Oglethorpe, where I picked out new glasses and got my old frames repaired. Then we went to Natty Greene’s for lunch. I’m looking forward to my new eyeglasses – they are bright blue.

Today I’ll work on getting this “O” postcard sized tapestry underway. I ordered this artist’s backpack from Amazon after seeing a tapestry weaver recommend it on Facebook. It is the perfect size for my frame looms and some yarn, and I use the front pockets to carry my lunch and drinks to work and back. My co-workers say that I look like I’m going backpacking with my hiking shoes on, but I don’t care. It is convenient to store the loom and yarns in the backpack, and I don’t get cat hair in it.

Reading: I finished “The Known World” by Edward P. Jones. It is one of those books that makes it difficult to decide what to read next because it was so good. I’ve finally settled on “Telegraph Avenue” by Michael Chabon.
Sunday noon coffee pot post

August 28, 2022

I think that I figured out what the problem with WordPress was yesterday, and with the post before that. I like to use the Classic WordPress editor, and WordPress would reaaaallly like for me to move on to block editing puleeze thank yew ma’am, and okay fine then, we’ll make you convert your post to blocks before you can edit or publish it, nyah nyah. We’ll see after I write this one.

Anyway, here’s what is going on with me. I am about to twine the top of the Cathedral tapestry and cut it off the loom! Then I need to warp up the Mirrix or my other small frame loom for the postcard sized tapestry for the collaborative work for the Tapestry Weavers South show. Those two things are priority one and two.

Yesterday we went to the Greensboro Farmers’ Curb Market for the first time in a while. We had stopped at the Berry Patch on the way home from the lake on Monday and it increased my desire for more fresh veggies. I bought my usual soaps from Mimi’s Soaps, corn and onions from Rudd Farms, okra, Roma tomatoes, and one prepared food vendor was selling everything for half price, so we bought quite a bit from them. This meant that yesterday we ate salad and a chicken dish that was like chicken pot pie but with a cracker crust on top and no vegetables within. Basically chicken in a thick creamy gravy. It was rich and salty and delicious but not something that we could eat on a regular basis, for sure. I also bought a sheet cake with a mocha frosting, and a meat lasagna to put in the freezer.

We’ve done some house cleaning, and I pulled a few more weeds, invasive ageratum mostly, in the asparagus bed in the back. I found four ripe figs within reaching distance and then I had to call it quits. It was so humid I was soaked through. The raspberry canes that I moved out from under the enormous fig tree are beginning to grow well and one has a few berries on it. Once I get some supports under these I hope that the briars will keep the groundhogs away – don’t know about the birds! The groundhogs are staying away from the asparagus so far, although the tomato plants are completely gone. I hope that we will have a lot of asparagus next year.

After one o’clock I have an appointment with the print studio. I might take my small loom to warp it there so that I won’t be distracted. When I cut off “Cathedral,” I will get Sandy to video it. I thought that I might have a cut-off party, but I honestly don’t think I can make myself wait that long. Maybe when I get it mounted and ready for display. Now THAT will be a milestone because that is the hardest part for me.

Work is distressing, again, not because of my department, but decisions at higher levels that are solidifying my decision to retire. Also because I’m beginning to have the same physical issues that I had pre-pandemic before I worked from home most of the time for a year and a half. I have to schedule a chiropractic appointment and start getting up from my chair and walking more. I also have to schedule a colonoscopy, ewwww, because I am a year past due and with my family history I need to do it every five years.

Reading: The Known World by Edward P. Jones. Watching: just started season 4 of The Last Kingdom, still in Season 1 of Ted Lasso, and just signed up for Peacock Premium so we can stream Resident Alien. We first saw it on the airplane coming back from Europe and finally decided that it was worth signing up for one more service. Alan Tudyk is one of my favorite actors.

As usual, I am obsessed with getting enough sleep, and I honestly think that if I could sleep as late as I needed to in order to get the rest I need, I wouldn’t need to retire. I could probably push through it for a couple of more years. But that is very unlikely to happen. People see it as laziness, but I see it as necessary health care. That being said, except for a few nights this past month, sleep has been better. I am taking meloxicam at night for the pain and magnesium for RLS. Occasional melatonin, but I’ve realized that I have to take this much earlier and not wait until I am tossing and turning at midnight. My depression is still much better, although my mood and attitude is not the greatest.
Lake Waccamaw Last Weekend

August 27, 2022

Last Friday night we drove down to Lake Waccamaw. Three friends joined us – one was recuperating from knee surgery and the other two from a death in her family. So we made it as stress free as possible, which isn’t hard to do at Lake Waccamaw. Saturday began threatening to rain but it turned out to be a good day. We had a lot of clouds but the sun started peeping in and out.

Saturday morning we pretty much had a rolling brunch and my sister and brother-in-law came over for lunch. Lisa brought delicious sliders. I have to get that recipe from her. Susan braided my hair and Don’s hair into pigtails. Don’s hair is extremely long because he hasn’t cut it since 1996 or so. He made this yummy tuna dip so we anointed him with the lake name “Tuna Dip Willie.” Robin took the kayak out and later that afternoon we sat in the lake and had drinks. Nobody wanted to cook so we ordered out seafood from Dale’s.

The afternoon was sunny enough that we experimented with a packet of pre-made cyanotype papers. At first we were very pernickety about process and used the bathroom as a darkroom but later we found that less effort gave us the same or almost the same results. Everybody made at least two prints and I’m going to make an accordion book with them later. The Spanish moss made great prints.

Sunday was a back porch day. The gliders are back! Another rolling brunch with people going in and out of the kitchen to eat English muffins and bacon and sandwiches and junk food. Robin and Don had to leave us in mid-afternoon. Then the rain came, and I thought the house might flood, but it didn’t. The next day the standing water was gone.

Late that afternoon we had appetizers and dinner at Lisa and Tim’s house, and watched the birds at their many feeders. It was a fun evening. These boiled peanuts were huge!

Then on Monday morning, we relaxed for a few hours before cleaning up and hitting the road. We had enough time to stop at The Berry Patch (a.k.a. “The Big Strawberry”) to eat huge ice cream cones and buy veggies.

I’d write more but this is the second time I’ve written this post. WordPress is giving me problems. Later, gator.
Thinking ahead

August 18, 2022

Now that I seem to be out of my depression hole, I’m capable of thinking more clearly of what’s ahead of me without shutting down. That’s great timing, because I am very sad about my brother-in-law’s change in prognosis. I’m angry at the world in general. I’m frustrated with the bureaucracy at work and its dependence on systems that don’t work for every problem and certainly don’t provide the efficiency that they claimed they would. I’m disappointed in my own change of life plans. But, all those emotions are different from being depressed. I think that only someone who has experienced depression understand that. I hope that I stay well away from the rim of the hole, but I don’t seem to have a lot of choice in the matter.

We’ll head down to the lake this weekend and I’ll visit with my family. A few friends are coming with us who all need some LW healing. If the weather cooperates, I am going to coerce these people into making cyanotypes from objects found on site and then I’ll make an accordion book with the prints.

Artist residencies are on my mind, which means that some time soon I’ll need to do a re-haul of the website here and make it more art oriented with my gallery at the forefront in order to have it more professional looking for applications. I won’t get rid of the blog…but it may not be on the front page. I’ve got more ideas for books than I have brain space for, and honestly, I don’t see how I’ll be able to work full-time and get the best ideas underway. I can’t focus when I get home at night.

I noticed that a business that I used to work temp projects for is still in business and is now doing all remote work. I was good at my job there and was offered a promotion during my last project for them about 17 years ago, but I didn’t accept it because it was a sick building. It was always difficult for me to finish a project because I would get migraines and my back throbbed from sitting on folding chairs at tables. It amazed me that they kept hiring me back but like I said, I had a real knack for the work, which was grading writing competency tests for state public school systems. So I will definitely look into working temp jobs for them again if they remain remote after I retire. Then I could take my job anywhere, and would have most of the year off.

My plan is to put off taking Social Security as long as possible and just live off my pension and 403B savings if necessary. We have no debt (knock wood) so at this point it might work. I’ve lived poor before – it won’t be a big shock. Sandy has been able to pay his part of the bills and save his Social Security and invest it instead of spending it. The hard part will be that the cats are reaching the age when they will probably need a lot more medical care. I will be able to keep my insurance at the same rate I am paying now until I am 65 and Sandy is on Medicare. Even though our cars are old, we don’t really need two cars any more. If we needed a second car after one of them dies from old age, we could rent as needed.

So my retirement plan is still on for June 1, 2023 – maybe pushed out to July. I’m no longer fixated on emigration, but we’ll travel as much as we can afford. I’m doing the airline points collecting again, and in the US we’ll take the train and drive as much as we can. It’s nice to have that to look forward to.

Now that the Infrastructure Act has passed, I might add a couple of solar panels to our array. The twelve rooftops panels that we have now almost cover our electrical needs, but not quite.

Reading: I finished The Shipping News and The Midnight Library this week. I think that both of these books significantly affected my mood.

Also affecting my mood: Ted Lasso. I am in love with this show. We are still watching The Last Kingdom, you know, the show about my grandparents. LOL. I’ll have to name our next tomcat Uhtred.

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